Live at The Leinster

Dateline 21 Jan 2018

A small group of regular jammers appeared at the Leinster Arms Hotel on Sunday to start another year of mangled ballads, hackneyed show tunes, suspect swing songs and NQR bossa novas and soul jazz dirges.

Some of the music did sound like music but that must could have been accidental.

Mike Hirsch, Bill, Michael and others beat the drums into submission. This scribe played bass and a spot of jazz guitar. Pony Tail Pete played electric bass too.

Roger ’spray on jeans’ Clarke played saxophone as did the captain of Chaos who instilled chaos when the song was actually on track and exacerbated the chaos when a train wreck was approaching. Jeff was also present on Saxophone.

Gentleman John Curtis, Kay and others tinkled the piano keys with some proficiency.

Warblers included the bespectacled warbler Kevin, Kay with her song books that are numbered like a Vietnamese take away restaurant menu and Sir Not Appearing in this Jam who stole the show with a characteristic nonappearance. What Perfect pitch !

Fermin and others who are too talented or too handsome to remember rotated on guitars but eventually the numbers dwindled down to a handful of jammers and it was time to pack up and go home.

Yes the Jam is back up and running for 2018.

If you have jazz charts that you have written yourself or have charts that are by more recent artists such as present day composer/ saxophone star Kamasi Washington ( Who is performing at the Forum in Melbourne , 9th March, check him out!!! more info) then bring those charts in multiple copies, so we won’t have to ruin the same songs every week. This allow us to ruin other tunes.

We don’t discriminate. Who Knows we might even play them right just to surprise everyone.

TH

Xmas Jam 3 Dec 2017

By Taariq Hassan

The last jazz Jam of the year 2017 came and went with a bang.

A good turnout embraced the temperamental weather that Melbourne’s end of year December festivities offers and enjoyed some more: very loud drum solos; find a key singing; wandering tempos; lost chord changes and hackneyed show tunes and ancient standards being mangled yet again.

The players included your scribe on piano and guitar. Others who contributed on the bass were Ivan, Ponytail Peter and newcomer Luke who was quite proficient on the electric bass.

Piano players were not scarce. They included Lisette who also sang some songs including “Lonely Avenue” and “ Fragile” in G minor with a nice guitar solo by your correspondent.

Sam Izzo ; Gentleman John Curtis; Malcolm and the every able Kay Cai on piano and melodica all added their flourishes on the digital piano.

Fermin, Chico added guitars to the mix and yours truly played the big red guitar.

Drummers included : Michael ; Bill; Sebastien (a.k.a The Gallic Animal from the Muppets) ;Steve Bray ; Mike ” Drum solos a plenty” Hirsch and the swinging Andre.

Reed men included : Jeff; the wailing demon on alto sax. ; Peter; Capt. Chaos; Laurie and Keith.

Marion Lustig showed us her recorder skills. She did not do a lighter fluid and matches sacrifice of her instrument to conclude her performance ala Jimi Hendrix at Monterrey. I think Glenn the publican would have taken exception to that .

Vocals were warbled by Uncle Jack ,”A Foggy Day “, Lisette as mentioned before; some refused to be dictated to by key, pitch or songs that were written after 1920’s ended.

The surprise talent came from newcomer Tom P. Fresh from sunny Tasmania with his trombone , he showed us his very accurate pitching (on an instrument that can , in the wrong hands, be like a live cat being skinned) and his swinging , concise phrasing.

Come back in 2018. We need your contribution in brass.

I ended up leaving at about 7 pm after wading through some songs that ended up being ruined twice such as the ¾ time “ Alice in Wonderland” and other hoary old chestnuts.

I wish you all the season’s greetings for the pagan consumer summer solstice and hope to see and hear from you again for a bigger and better new year of Sunday jamming at the sheltered workshop for the tone deaf and rhythmically challenged.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe

Which neatly sums up the quiet little Jam Session that took place last Sunday. Plenty of opportunity to gyre and gimble, and none missed. A smaller bunch of jammers than usual (17) concocted a variety of tempo, and tones. And then had them altered at random.

All of which made for the usual gossip-mongering over a refreshing social lubricant, munchies from Glen, and the early departure of several rather good musos.

And the orchestra played on… Continue reading

Jazz Jam Report 6th August 2017

by

Taariq Hassam ( Mr. T. )

The Sheltered workshop for the tone deaf and the rhythmically challenged had another jam session. It happened at the Leinster arms last Sunday.

Many songs that were highly predictable were ruined in new and unpredictable ways.

The most interesting piece of music that looked promising on paper was mangled into the train wreck of the week . I speak of “ Seven Steps to Heaven”, the Miles Davis tune.

The most musical moment may have been a good version of “Nardis “ , also a Miles Davis piece. It nearly sounded like Jazz! , with this scribe on piano , Chico on Guitar and others were also present who were too talented or amazing to be described at all , even by name.

Many people turned up, tuned up and joined in. They included Pip on Viola and Violin. On Drums we had: Michael; Matt; Bill; Manny and the swinging Andre. On Bass we had :Pete Ponytail and this scribe taking it in turns on the electric bass guitar. On Piano Gentleman John Curtis played a solid bracket or two as well as your humble correspondent and some proficient tinkling from Kay.

Guitarists were not in short supply including : Fermin; Neil; Vlad ; Chico and Sir Not Appearing in this report. On Reeds and other ‘ blow in one end and hear the sound coming out the other end’ type instruments we had the usual chaos from Captain Chaos plus Jeff on Alto and Will on Tenor Sax.

Vocalists with their often inexplicably banal and hackneyed choices of songs included : the very lovely Chloe; Kylie and Susie. The bespectacled warbler Kevin also trotted out some pre Crimean war jazz standards and a late appearance from Ms. Annie Smith meant that

“All or nothing at all “

was not just a song and a chart but the reality in terms of anyone in the band really knowing what the effing hell was going on.

One must mention Tim on trumpet. There I have mentioned him.

Ted “ Anything after 1835 is Bebop “ Woollan was not there and the jam still went ahead regardless.

Overall it was not a bad jam session that started out with a small and subtle approach and ended up louder ,bigger and less nuanced as the proceedings unfolded.

I will be up on the wintery and snowy Mt. Bogong( 1986 M. ) in N.E. Victoria next week so enjoy the lack of an overconfident multi-instrumentalist muscling in on every song, on nearly every instrument (including the spoons with a rack of effects).

Be sure to play plenty of Eric Dolphy charts while I am away.

What’s on, Friday: The Royal Standard Hotel

The Royal Standard Hotel: Susie cracked it, Ann Hayres this week..

Susie cracked it indeed, at very short notice. And if the truth be told, a little light on for preparedness due to not much singing for the past 18 months. What ensued Susie having fun and a pretty good night, well received by the regulars. We must do it again.

This week sees Ann Hayres stepping up to the plate – with an eclectic selection of esoteric jazz standards: the irrepressible Dave Taylor back on double bass, the Captain on sax and a Allan Smith on drums. The night could turn out a debacle, but with those musos on board, at least it will be a stylish debacle. Or a lot of fun. Or both

Ann Hayres with the Captain Chaos Quartet, The Royal Standard Hotel, 333 William St, 7.00pm to 9.30pm, Friday 30th June 2017

Improvisation, why bother. Just make it up as you go along…

The Royal Standard Hotel: Fridays sorted

The Divine Miss Smith and the polytonal Jason Chalmers did not disappoint. This week, Susie returns to the fray, after a protracted break, and the usual crew will be there in support.

Susie with the Captain Chaos Quartet, The Royal Standard Hotel, 333 William St, 7.00pm to 9.30pm, Friday 23rd June 2017

Stick to the black notes, they’re cheaper…

The Royal Standard Hotel: Fridays sorted

Last week saw a piping hot set from Joys Njambi, and this week we are featuring the late Miss Smith, and Jason Chalmers on sax: should be good!

Annie Smith with the Captain Chaos Quartet, The Royal Standard Hotel, 333 William St, 7.00pm to 9.30pm, Friday 16th June 2017

Getting Your Wordsworth on…

I wandered, lonely as a cloud (if clouds can actually feel lonely, which I would doubt), into the darkened inner recesses of the ancient and mouldering pile otherwise known as the Gold Street Gossip Shop and Bicycle Repair Emporium, and spotted, not a crowd or host of golden daffodils as such, but a coupla dills hanging about getting ready to mash up a few standards. As you do on a Sunday arvo when you have plenty better to do, but not much inclination to do it…

There followed a remarkably pleasant afternoon with nineteen musos swapping licks, hardly a trainwreck in sight, and a few highlights to be mentioned…

Newcomer Luis played some damn good soprano saxophone, which is the first time in living memory that anyone has made that instrument sound good (it normally makes the bagpipes sound good instead). Hope he will be back. Buen trabajo!

Ponytail Pete played even better than he did on Friday night (report below). Chico and Fermin swapped guitar stints.

Colonel T forgot to hammer any numbers into the ground, and in between whiles kept us amused (“there is a 1 in 88 chance of that piano player hitting the right note…”)

Kay the pick of the piano players, although the Fraser was just as good. Peter, Richard and meself made up the numbers. And the percussion crowd (Michael, Bill and Matt) generally hit things to good effect, before newcomer Andre got up and gave a bit of a drum class of his own.

Keef played some nice stuff – even forgot to play over the singers (Kev, Brian and the irrepressible Debster) for a while.

Eventually, we ran out of time to fit everyone in for a second bite at the cherry … over all of which Captain Sensible presided with his usual equanimity.

You are cordially invited to take part in the next friendly debacle … at The Leinster Arms, Gold Street Collingwood, Sunday 12th March 2017, at 4.00pm.

Castlemaine Jazz Festival 2017

June 9th – June 12th 2017

Bands registrations should be in by March 3rd, so get cracking! Musician Co-ordinator Captain Chaos can answer any queries you may have on 0422 568 537. Col Garrett has the same number, so he may answer the phone…

No reports from the Festival newsdesk this week. Rumour has it that the Castlemaine Jam Session (first Sunday of every month) is moving to the Maurocco Bar, opposite the railway station.

http://2017.castlemainejazzfestival.com.au/

Port Fairy Jazz Festival

February 10th – 12th

This is coming up very soon – and promises to be a huge event. Amongst the regular jammers who can’t get a proper gig that weekend, will be…

The Ade Ish Trio/IshAllen Project

Anne Craig Duo

Anne Hayres with John Curtis

Annie Smith and the Bossa Boys

Breakout (Col not in a suit)

Christine Manetta with Black Pearl

David Ruiz Prado trio

G and T Jazz

Port Phillip Showband (Col in a suit..)

And Doug Kuhn in almost everything …Annie & the Bossa Boys, G&T Jazz, Not Quite Right

All the rest (around a hundred bands) are absolute rubbish, or not as the case may be. Should be a fantastic weekend.

http://www.portfairyjazz.com.au/

Captain Chaos goes bush

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Ben the Bouncer in full swing – Michael Findlay and Peter Ryan
are hiding in this photo, but they were still guilty…

And some of us fall for it… so there we were, at Captain Sensible’s bidding, dragging the dusty out of a motley collection of shooting brakes, charabancs and pickup trucks, taking over a muddy old corner under the trees at the Stables. Which is, as you would expect, an open air pizzeria in Malmsbury, set back from the old Calder, these days little more than a Boulevarde of broken drains… Continue reading

Precocious Brats, Ageing Reprobates and All Blues…

Things are getting out of hand – The good Captain collared a coupla kids, aged about 5 and minus 3 and a bit, and had them playing the drums before we started. Their sister, we were told by Proud Mum, was dying to play the piano. Naturally we agreed on the usual condition Continue reading