Threat Identification Chart: A guide to musical instruments

Threat Identification Chart: A guide to musical instruments


Low flying saxophone. Do not pick one of these up, they are liable to explode and spray shattered egos everywhere


Incomplete drumkit. Complete drumkit is a mythical concept, apparently. Barely adequate for the average drummer, often ruined by the use of drumsticks. Extra carpet required for M Hirsh esq.


Eclectic guitar. This is perfect in every way, especially as it doesn’t have a lead.


Two handed piano. This instrument has 88 keys – a lot of choices, all of them wrong.

Update on the Leinster Arms Hotel… cancelled

We have decided to cancel the “final bash” at the Leinster Arms Hotel. This would have required us to transfer all the gear to the Lunatic Soup Kitchen for lunch, play in the small bar as the Atrium is already booked, and then perform a mad dash to the Junk, set up all the gear again and be ready to start by 4.00pm. Ain’t going to happen.

Apologies to those of you who were proposing to go. Since opening at the Junk, very few people (none, actually) have said they miss the Gold Street Gossip Shop, so all reminiscences, scurrilous gossip and wildly exaggerated rumours have been transferred to the Junktion Hotel.


Captain Chaos, Laurie Savage and Peter Garam having fun at the
Leinster (Christmas 2016)

We played at the Leinster Arms Sheltered Workshop for over eight years, occasionally straying into an approximation of jazz, always getting in Glen’s way, and being too loud. It was kind of fun. Best wishes to Il Duce for his Sunbury venture.

Give a Shout for Adrian at JazzLab

Sunday, November 19, 7 pm-late, at The Jazzlab, 27 Leslie Street, Brunswick

$25 & $20 concessions

Adrian Jackson is best-known to most jazz followers in Australia (and internationally) as the founding Artistic Director of Victoria’s three major jazz festivals – Melbourne International Jazz Festival; Wangaratta Festival of Jazz and Blues; and, Stonnington Jazz (as well as jazz critic with The Age newspaper for around 15 years). In the past year he has had to deal with some adversity, and been unemployed, and over the last few months this has been further exacerbated with health problems. Continue reading →