Sunday Jazz at The Junktion Hotel: Well,that was a surprise….

I almost didn’t go. What the hell, rocked up anyway, as I had promised Mistress Smith that I would come for the last Featured Singer series of the year (see report below).

The jam sessions have been predictably unpredictable of late … this one featured some new faces (welcome Britta the bass), some returning faces (Jane, where ya been?), some startling improvers, (Dave No Nickname on bass), some returning Jammers (Kay Young de Darwin in fine form, great to see you again), rather more audience ordering ridiculously large meals and staying all afternoon… and some fine music making/mangling/take your pick.

Featured Singer (and wardrobe mistress)Mistress Annie Smith sang a fiendishly difficult set that put Gentleman John Curtis right in his comfort zone – standout was Take Five, which is the first time in living memory anyone has attempted a 5/4 tune (other than when the rest of us were playing in some other tempo…) Annie craftily avoided some of her more entertaining/less intellectual songs so we will have to ask her back to do another set…

Rhythm section of the week: Drummers win by a country mile: Bill Swannie, Salah and Alan Smith all good, Andre a late arrival but just as good too.

Soloists: Laurie played beautifully, and nailed it, Keith was his usual excellent self, and they both paired well with the Captain .

Singers included Jane with a top swing set, Brian Fly Me To The Moon, Stormy Monday, Angel Eyes and Kevinwas there but elected not to sing. Kay Young sang as well as ever, Ann Hayres arrived later, but hadn’t sung before I left, probably so I wouldn’t be able to take the mickey. She is always good.

It was entertaining stuff. The good Captain got so excited he forgot to call his customary five bar fours, or indeed create any chaos at all. So will anyone turn up next session?

Pre Christmas Bash: Sunday 16th December

This week… 16th December, with an earlier start time of 3.00pm. For those that want to, we suggest we stop for a meal at 6.00pm  or thereabouts. The food is good, and the portions are enormous.

Indications are, that despite the bigger turnout last week, even more people will be coming for the Bash. The skeleton staff at Bendigo Towers a rereasonably confident that the afternoon will prove to be a disaster,in the finest traditions of the Melbourne Jazz Jammers.

Look out for…

Jammers attempting to play jazz – that will never work, we all prefer the occasional train-wreck.  Audience members are advised to ignore this, talk loudly and preferably indulge in malicious gossip instead. We all have our strengths…

Complete bluddy strangers deciding to turn up for the first time and expecting to play most of the afternoon…. or complete bands doing the same (it has happened before…)  We will attempt to get everyone a spot. Dodgy Dave has been warned we might run a bit late.

Of course it is always possible that almost no-one will turn up at all, in which case we will have a marvellous time anyway…

The Bash has always been a chance for new, old, decrepit and lapsed jammers to get together and sneer at the current crop. As you love a bit of scurrilous gossip (who doesn’t?) this is a great opportunity to get on the bandwagon, meet old friends, possibly wish you hadn’t,and if so inclined, blow the tits off yer fave toon or three.

Be there!

Next Jam, this Sunday 16th December, 3.00pm start,

The Junktion Hotel, 99 High Street, South Kew – the Hotel is on the corner of Kew Junction. Public parking is available on Studley Park Road, or behind the Mercedes dealer/behind the High Street Shops off Fenton Street from High St, Kew.

Next week: a review of the Year that was. Reputations will be ruined, riots reviewed, repeat offenders identified, prizes awarded. 

Toodlepip!

Sunday Jazz at The Junktion Hotel: A quiet session?

Well, not really. After some opening numbers by Messrs. Geoff,
Captain Chaos, and Curtis, and a welcome appearance by Mr
Stringer (drums), the afternoon followed its usual trajectory. It always
had the look of a quiet afternoon, lacking bass player and singers for
quite a while.
Nevertheless, a pleasant cacophony for a while. Volker played a
couple (sax) as did Geoff – who could have played more piano but
elected to leave. The customary hand grenade, mainly in the form of
an overly loud drummer, occasional guitarist Mr Ryan, Mr Harris and
the Captain himself contrived to make it sufficiently rowdy for a while,
with the unfortunate departure of the few audience members who
had turned up.
We were left with a total of 15 people in the room, all of them sat as
far from the music as they could get. Salah and Russell had to leave
after waiting a while .Of course, no one is expected to learn from the
experience, as they were, in the main, having too much fun.

The Captain, Peter Ryan and Volker – a quiet little drink

Kevin in fine voice

Bill Swannie (drums) Never missed a beat


Ben Stewart – Cool jazz guitar

What went well? You may well ask, always assuming you are reading
the newsletter, and in the habit of asking yourself rhetorical
questions… Pony Tail Pete had a good afternoon, playing solid bass,
with a coupla good solos thrown in. Kevin, looking and sounding
better than he has for a while, sang impressively – Georgia a highlight
with some fine piano from Malcolm.. Keef warmed up and was the
pick of the saxophones – we managed to stuff Daahoud for a couple
of choruses, but made sense of it in the end. First time Keef had
played it, and to think we were following him! Ben Stewart was a late
arrival, playing some gentle guitar with Bill Swannie on drums and
PTP on bass then sensibly ducked the solo on Daahoud

Pony Tail Pete looking chill

I had left before Mistress Smith had settled and sung. 

This was the smallest turnout we have had since starting at the Junk

  • and we must hope for rather better next week.
  • Featured Singer for December 9th
    The always entertaining, occasionally fabulous Mistress Smith! We
    have saved the best for last: singing up a storm next Sunday, and I
    am rather looking forward to this one. Silly hats optional.
The occasionally fabulous Mistress Smith
  • Pre Christmas Bash: Sunday 16th December
  • We have set the date for 16th December, with a start time of 3.00pm. For those that want to, we suggest we stop for a meal at 6.00pm or thereabouts –
  • negotiations are being held with the production staff –
  • Costume Director: Annie Smith
  • Reindeer Wrangler: Jack Morris
  • Marketing and Promotion: You
  • The Bash has always been a chance for new, old, decrepit and lapsed jammers to get together and sneer at the current crop. As you love a bit of scurrilous gossip (who doesn’t?) this is a great opportunity to get on the bandwagon, meet old friends, possibly wish you hadn’t, and if so inclined, blow the tits off yer fave toon or three.
  • Be there!


Next Jam, this Sunday 9th December, 4.00pm start,
The Junktion Hotel, 99 High Street, South Kew – the Hotel is on the
corner of Kew Junction. Public parking is available on Studley Park
Road, or behind the Mercedes dealer/behind the High Street Shops
off Fenton Street from High St, Kew.




Sunday Jazz at The Junktion Hotel: A lot of people and a bit of chaos


TRather more people than usual turned up for this one – including about five people from Canberra, along with about 345 extremely well behaved tinlids, who sat through the afternoon and appeared to enjoy it all.

The usual opening fusillade of jazz standards, with the Captain lighting up some smooth sax lines, the inimitable John Curtis priming himself for the featured duo of Debbie and Ashley. It was all going swimmingly, until, eventually, the Captain felt enough was enough and called for the big spanner, putting up Ash and Deb whilst the debonair Mr C was nowhere to be seen, and meself got finagled into sitting in as the Debster started with a tune I didn’t know. If it had any more flats, we could have taken it to VCAT. Mercifully, John returned, with a wry grin, and the thought occurred that he might have deliberately hand passed the opening tunes… couldn’t happen could it?

As a result, the duo set wasn’t as smooth as we could have hoped – no reflection on the singers, as they harmonised beautifully, but organisationally this wasn’t our finest moment. The cock was definitely upped…

Didn’t seem to matter, and over the next coupla hours, over 20 musicians got up and boogied. “twas fun, but…

Manal was back and sang with her usual mixture of nerves and charm. The ever improving Laurie blew some nice lines, Will ditto,ditto, nobody died and nothing got broken, well maybe a little bit but who cares….

Pre Christmas Bash: Sunday 16th December

After some discussion with Dodgy Dave, we have set the date for 16th December, with a start time of 3.00pm. For those that want to, we suggest we stop for a meal at 6.00pm or thereabouts – negotiations are being held with the production staff –

Costume Director: Annie Smith, with hats

Reindeer Wrangler: Jack Morris if I can get him

Marketing and Promotion:  You: ring ya mates

The Bash has always been a chance for new, old, decrepit and lapsed jammers to get together and sneer at the current crop. As you love a bit of scurrilous gossip (who doesn’t?) this is a great opportunity to get on the bandwagon, meet old friends, possibly wish you hadn’t,and if so inclined, blow the tits off yer fave toon or three.

Be there!

Featured Singer?

No featured singer this week, you will just have to feature yourselves. Our last featured singer of this year will be Annie Smith on 9th December

Next Jam, this Sunday 2nd December, 4.00pm start,

The Junktion Hotel, 99 High Street, South Kew – the Hotel is on the corner of Kew Junction. Public parking is available on Studley Park Road, or behind the Mercedes dealer/behind the High Street Shops off Fenton Street from High St, Kew.

 

Sunday Jazz at The Junktion Hotel

No one played a bum note all afternoon, the Bistro was its usual busy self, the sun shone, we all had a good time…

Probably, I wouldn’t know, I was away. Calamatta put in a half hearted effort, turning round about halfway there.

All of this made possible by the fact that there was no jam session, what with the Captain leading the Wangaratta mob, and me transporting the PA to Portland and back for a fine wedding on a farm in Narrawong.

We’ll be back with a vengeance this Sunday, with Bolivian nose floots, bagpipes and a rough assemblage of soxollip hones, Geetars, drums, pianolistic keynotes, tall tales and true and quite possibly a bass player or two.

Should be rather fun…

Correspondence received from Bendigo Towers…

Disclaimers

The Bendigo Towers (*) Legal Department have requested the following be brought to the attention of jammers.

This article may be copyright as we cannot remember who we pinched it from. Please feel free to copy it and publish it under your own name as we would rather they sued you than us.

This article may contain facts. We do not warranty any of these facts to be true. If you are allergic to facts, or indeed, in any way gullible, please stop reading this immediately. You may wish to apply for a position with the Herald Sun.

If you thought you were at the Jam Session, and we have not mentioned you it is either because there was no jam session, or you are so young, talented, and good looking that words fail us; or we forgot. Your choice.

(*) Bendigo Towers, is, as many would know, the World Headquarters of the Melbourne Jazz Jammers Newsletter, manned exclusively by the ‘steemed Ed and extra 3b reserve copy boy, neither of whom has anything better to do. On a good day. Possibly fictional.
TW

Threat Identification Chart: A guide to musical instruments

Threat Identification Chart: A guide to musical instruments

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Low flying saxophone. Do not pick one of these up, they are liable to explode and spray shattered egos everywhere

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Incomplete drumkit. Complete drumkit is a mythical concept, apparently. Barely adequate for the average drummer, often ruined by the use of drumsticks. Extra carpet required for M Hirsh esq.

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Eclectic guitar. This is perfect in every way, especially as it doesn’t have a lead.

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Two handed piano. This instrument has 88 keys – a lot of choices, all of them wrong.

Update on the Leinster Arms Hotel… cancelled

We have decided to cancel the “final bash” at the Leinster Arms Hotel. This would have required us to transfer all the gear to the Lunatic Soup Kitchen for lunch, play in the small bar as the Atrium is already booked, and then perform a mad dash to the Junk, set up all the gear again and be ready to start by 4.00pm. Ain’t going to happen.

Apologies to those of you who were proposing to go. Since opening at the Junk, very few people (none, actually) have said they miss the Gold Street Gossip Shop, so all reminiscences, scurrilous gossip and wildly exaggerated rumours have been transferred to the Junktion Hotel.

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Captain Chaos, Laurie Savage and Peter Garam having fun at the
Leinster (Christmas 2016)

We played at the Leinster Arms Sheltered Workshop for over eight years, occasionally straying into an approximation of jazz, always getting in Glen’s way, and being too loud. It was kind of fun. Best wishes to Il Duce for his Sunbury venture.