The Jammers Bit: We are Not Going Back to Normal

Or forward at the moment… In response to the extreme lack of any performance opportunity other than gawping at a screen whilet the Zoomed opposition operate at a 25 millisecond delay, we bring the following Jammers Guide to the Lockdown :

Stage Four: Doesn’t work for the Captain as he tends to start with Stage 3 or 5 anyway
Stage Three: Singers: Did someone say Stage?, here I am..
Stage Two: Theoretically possible, but wouldn’t it be easier if we all moved to Queensland?
Stage One: There is no Stage One, that was just a rumour put about to keep the conspiracy theorists, anti vaxxers, gluten free hippies, humourless vegans, police and other weirdos occupied.

Zoom Zoom Zoom; Online Music Collaboration.

Leaders of the Music Business are still frantically trying to find out how to stop musicians putting up music without paying them a cent. Optimists think the solution will be up by next year, epidemiologists (and God knows we have enough of them all of a sudden) think it will be 16.32pm next Thursday but only if their modelling is accurate, which, of course, it isn’t.

So…. zooming on

Sound Delay: There seem to be ongoing problems with co-ordination regardless of software used. Sounds much like a jam session, and it never bothered us…

As a money raising venture: tricky one this, probably the best way to generate funds is to threaten to keep posting recordings. You could try Little Sunflower as a double whammy.

Audience: There isn’t one, as a rule. Again, much like any jam session, and again, it never bothered us…

This week’s contributions from Jammers with too much time on their hands..

  • Musicians : Rose’s article on Instrumentalists’ language: a guide for aspiring vocalists.
  • Tales from The Pantry: yup, still don’t have a clue what this is about, see if you can make it out…
  • Dr John’s Jazz Clinic: In, it should be noted, several parts and considerable detail. Essential reading for harp players who want to show off, as well as jazz musos of all levels..

What have the Jammers been up to?

The Newport Jazz Festival (yes, it is still a thing) Committee held their first Zoom meeting last week. Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, this went fairly smoothly. Several glasses of wine were spotted in the background, but no credibility bookcases.
Bill Swannie, possible future High Court Judge (well, he hasn’t been caught yet), has been lounging about at home, listening to Michael Jackson at Archie’s insistence (that is what Bill says .. maybe he secretly likes it) and devising new ways of remotely online misleading the next generation of lawyers. He is well, but is using an electronic drum instead of his fine Gretsch. Who said Covid wasn’t a crisis?

Bill Swannie

Annie “Pegleg” Smith probably continues to stump around the lobelias when she should be inside bashing out another artickle for the Newsletter. I wouldn’t know for sure as she isn’t answering her telephone.

Festival and Jammers News:




    1. Valerie

      Thankyou. We like to keep TW anonymous to avoid any gratuitous self promotion or aggrandisement, none of which is justified anyway. We hope you are enjoying reading the Newsletter, and haven’t noticed that there hasn’t been a Jam Session to report on since April 2020. If/when we get a jam session, I hope you will come and remind me of who you are.


      Ted Woollan


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