Captain Chaos goes bush


Ben the Bouncer in full swing – Michael Findlay and Peter Ryan
are hiding in this photo, but they were still guilty…

And some of us fall for it… so there we were, at Captain Sensible’s bidding, dragging the dusty out of a motley collection of shooting brakes, charabancs and pickup trucks, taking over a muddy old corner under the trees at the Stables. Which is, as you would expect, an open air pizzeria in Malmsbury, set back from the old Calder, these days little more than a Boulevarde of broken drains…

Quite why Stan the Man (bass) , Peter “smokem” Ryan (guitar), Michael the drums and meself would fall for this rubbish escapes me, but we set up and, under The Captain‘s guidance, launched into our very own arrangement of Killing Me Softly before the locals had time to realise what was going on and book into the pub two doors down…

Actually, it all went rather swimmingly, and before long just about every table in the joint was occupied. Hostess Gina was amusing herself by terrorising the guests into ordering more food than they might have thought sensible, whilst a couple of local serving wenches whistled plates around in no time. At least I assume they were local. They can’t have been from Colliwobble as they were at least 16 and still had more teeth than children…

Turns out the locals are somewhat appreciative of a bit of jazz, notwithstanding our persistent efforts at disguising familiar tunes to, if not beyond, the point at which they might not be recognisable, and ourselves charged on summons for fraudulent conversion.

Coupla ace singers got up – Kevin Rolfe called for a latin version of Teach Me Tonight, which shows he hasn’t lost his sense of humour, Pete’s friend Danielle sang Call Me, and a version of Summertime that had surely been to the vet. Ben the bouncer from the wedding up the road chipped in with fine versions of Route 66 and Georgia . They do things different in Malmsey.

And to round out the balmy evening, Costa stopped making pizzas, and took a fine spell on the drums, before we all packed up and went home, none the wiser…

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