I was talking to Madge from Altona the other day. She is most incensed at the sudden change in management of the West Altona Bowls and Drinking Club. Seems the white hatted old buggers had decided to spike the president’s turkey club sandwich in a fit of pique and reinstate the lawnmower as the new power base of the Pennant Extra 3B Reserves team, in a vague attempt at snaffling the upcoming Refinery Terrace Perpetual Rose Bowl.
It has been some years since Madge’s disgraceful performance at their last Bowl triumph, which ended in her using the afore-mentioned trophy in a manner that would have disappointed its maker, and did no credit to the alumni of the West Altona Juvenile Correctional facility, or indeed Madge herself. Not that she cared, as she was, at the time, taking the first hesitant steps in a mildly glorious career as a member of the Bairnsdale Working Mens Club corps de ballet, an exclusive troupe of exactly two. There being no prospect of gainful employment in what is laughingly referred to as the entertainment industry any closer to home. And we all know how that ended…
It is customary for there to be some digression at this stage into a glowing, factually inaccurate, and probably scandalous description of last week’s Jam Session at the Gold Street Gossip Shop and Society Tea Rooms. Since I was unable to attend, any such description on my part would run the risk of being factually accurate, which would set a dangerous precedent, and possibly not scandalous, which would disappoint two out of the three regular readers of this august journal.
I am nearly sure they all glowed.
But not quite. I do hope you all had fun.
Should see ya all this weekend?