The Ade Show

aka The Leinster Arms

Ade Ish turned up with a bunch of mates from Sydney and put up a lively set featuring the electronic saxaphone (Adolphe turning in his grave no doubt). The Captain wisely retired hurt at the first opportunity, leaving Sub Lieutenant Kuhn to the mercies of some funky little numbers…

There followed a pleasant afternoon’s ballad mangling in the finest traditions of the Jammers – amongst the mangled bodies that littered the carpet by the end of it, I detected the corpses of Little Sunflower, Mercy Mercy Mercy (that one played so slow it would have sounded better backwards..) and an experimental rendition of Moonlight in Vermont which left both singer (Kev) and musicians (Debonair JC et al) confused, bemused and enthused in equal measure.

There was a good turn-up of musos, (21) with the following pleading guilty, as they should: Colonel T of the Fourth Light Punjab Horse (actually, he played rather well) Bruce, Chrissie, Steve (drums, pretty smooth), Ivan on the hooge double bass, Lisette (p), happy birthday by the way, Carlton (bass) Chico (g), Debbie, Gerald (D and P), meself and Ian (g) on a truly lame version of Song For My Father, cheap at any price, and young Alex (drums) and John (p) rounding out the night. A slightly nervous Keelie got up and sang for the first time in years, and we hope she does it again.

And then we all had Glens Fat Chips and went home, or something.

Meanwhile, avid readers of this august journal will have spotted a missive from the Divine Miss Smith, last seen lurking around sailors in Northern Climes. One can only appreciate her decision not to go swimming in the sea because of sharks – some of those creatures are of a nervous disposition anyway, and this would only make it worse.

The late Miss Smith (well, she has never turned up early) has clearly been drinking too much of the jungle juice as she appears to be under the impression that Hortense is accompanying her – had she been asked, and she may have been, one feels sure that Hortense would have declined on the grounds that she never goes north of Altona – other than the attempted congenial visit with Rotten Ronnie Junior, although that ended badly due to Hortense’s limited understanding of English, and Rotten Ronnie’s unfortunate accident in the Ballarat region.

But I digress: do turn up for a little Jam Session next Sunday, we will all play in tune, bars will not be dropped, the saxaphones will never play more than one chorus, and then only after everyone else has had a dip, we will decline to play Watermelon Man, Autumn Leaves, Summertime, Caravan and, with any luck, the woeful Little Sunflower, and the charts will all be right way up, and… well that might all be an exaggeration, but turn up anyway!


The Laika Bar

After last week’s smooth-as but poorly paid session with Sevil, this week Risa Khodani will be singing her eclectic mixture of obscure postwar Japanese Jazz, standards, ballads and whatever – and we will be debuting young jammer Alex on drums – only Grumpy Boris doesn’t know about that, so don’t tell anyone.
Risa Khodani CJF2015

If you feel like dropping in, sitting by the fire with a glass of something, and pretending you know what Risa is banging on about when she sings in Japanese, we would love to see you!

Risa Khodani, Ted Woollan (p) Doug Kuhn (b), Young Alex (d) at The Laika Bar 9 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda, Friday 28th August, from 8.00pm onwards

From Anne Smith

Ahoy and ahaarrrrgh mateys! T’is I , disabled sea person Annie Smithers sailing the high (and low) seas along the north coast of Borneo. Hortense and I are having a hale of a time…. Well more of a crocodile of a time really but haven’t seen any of hose either ….. Except in a wildlife reserve pen!!! They keep telling me”you can’t swim here. There’s crocodiles!” I think they’re just trying trying to avoid me getting out in a swimsuit and baring too much flesh. Hortense is a devout naturist which makes things worse. Speaking of flesh. I was hoping to be head hunted here for an extended tour of ritzy resorts but alas and alack I haven’t been discovered …..yet??!! I could go on about the ups and downs of life at sea but suffice to say Hortense and I are often hot and sticky and rolling in it (the sea that is!) It makes for a nice change for a couple of old flappers like us! So I’ll be seeing you all in September if I haven’t been keel hauled. Hope the winds down there are fair and not foul. That’s another thing. You should try living in close quarters with H for a month… especially when she gets on the port in port. She’ll drink almost anything in a storm. I have traded my penchant for vino and now live on a steady diet of cheap beer and muesli. Ah …the glamour of it all!!! Keep warm LOL  DS Annie Smithers Oyyyyeee aaaaaaarrrrrrrrhhhhhh!

At The Leinster

The Jam Session: Another record established


It would have seemed, by 5.00, that we were going to approach the record for most musicians performing on a single afternoon (31, a couple of years ago). We stopped short at 26, as it turned out, but another record was undoubtedly broken…

The All time Great Train Wreck:

Yup, Good Morning Heartache wasn’t good, and the heartache stopped mercifully short with various mutterings about a dodgy chart.. take a bow, Captain Chaos, Sir Roger C, Doug Haircut Kuhn, the Debonair John Curtis, and the others. Magnificent shambles, really, really well done…

Only to be followed, the very next toon, by an even bigger cock-up on Mas Que Nada, same culprits, admittedly a tune well designed for upwards cocking, again cut mercifully short: an absolute debacle, and the audience, vicious bastards, lapped it up.

So the record is for two train wrecks in a row, a feat often attempted but never quite realised in the past.

The Haircut plays Mas Que Nada about once every two weeks, with Katerina, so he may be excused. Sir Roger De Coverley made up for it with a fine set with Rory C. later on. Paul Phillips thinks I have forgotten he was playing, I haven’t, but as he only hits things and didn’t have a chart, he may be exempted from the blame. Actually, he subsequently played rather well…

All of which left precious little time for a roll call of hopefuls to plink, thwack, slap, fernottle and gargle their way through a dizzying array of Jazz standards later on. The session ended fairly late, due to the following:

· Sebastien (drums)
· Andy Moon (dbl bass)
· Anton (single bass)
· Gerard (drums, and then piano)
· Gary (drums)
· Tony (sax)
· Soozie (vocals)
· Sonia (chanteuse)
· Marita (ditto)
· Don (piano)
· John Calamatta (sax and red beret)
· Chrissie Manetta (tonsils)
· Bruce (drums)
· Paul Phillips (drums)
· Chico (guitar)
· Kevin (vocals)
· Tom (guitar)
· Grant (sax and floot)
· Alex (drums)
· Alex’s dad (piano)
· Stuart (vocals)
· Gentleman John C (piano)
· Rory Clark (piano)
· Sir Roger De Coverley (sax)
· Captain Chaos (sax and confusion)

…and one other who was so talented, young, and good looking that I have neglected to mention their name. You know who you are!

The Laika Bar

The Laika Bar: Sevil Sabah returns!


And she is getting ready to shake the rust off, after two months away in France and attending to her bro’s wedding..

Sevil Sabah with Doug Haircut Kuhn (bass), Ben Twang Stewart (guitar) and meself propped up on the piano; from 8.00pm Friday 14th August at The Laika Bar, 9 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda,

Assuming she doesn’t blow out her voice on Friday, she will also be singing at Dizzy’s on Saturday night with the impeccable Rory Clark on piano.

The Castlemaine Jazz Festival

The Castlemaine Jazz Festival: Annual General Meeting: Sunday 6th September at the Cumberland Hotel, Castlemaine ,1.00pm


This should be an interesting opportunity for Castlemaine locals to put their hand up for a role on, beside or beneath the Committee. Doug Kuhn, Col Garrett, John Hannah, Rob Hall and meself have nominated to go round again, and we are hopeful of getting a couple of locals to join us. Anyone from the Jammers is welcome to attend, and members are encouraged to nominate, provided you are prepared to put in around 400 hours, and drive 2,750km for the meetings.

There will be the monthly Jam Session afterwards, at 3.30pm.

Sunday at the Leinster

The jam session started with Mihoko on bass, John on keys, Noel on tenor and flute, Lee on trumpet and Don on drums and keys. Stayed like that for a while until we were joined by Chiko (guitar) and Charlton (bass guitar), Alex (drums), Debbie (vocals), Bob, John and Gerald (keys). Later still, half of Black Pearl (Chrisie and Bruce) arrived to put in a final warm up before their Dizzys gig on Tuesday. Newcomers, Elise and Emma, vocalised a number each and will hopefully return to continue their development into to the world of jazz. All in all, quite an enjoyable 4 hours spent on yet another cold and wet Sunday afternoon.

Not your usual correspondent

The Jam Session Review: One would think not…

Captain Chaos, scourge of the Calder, lead footed back from the Castlemaine Jazz Festival Committee meeting, in time to acquire fond memories of the jam session: which was , as ever, spiffingly inconsistent, prone to outbursts of music in between the trainwrecks, and populated by the usual crew of competent, incompetent, delusional and maladjusted musicians, all of whom had a triffic time, welcomed the occasional nervous newcomer, danced on the tables, indulged in outrageous and occasionally malicious gossip, all of it untrue, except for anything to do with Hortense, about whom one can never be certain, according to Madge, anyway.

If anyone has gained the impression from the previous para that I might not have been there, they would be right. Probably accounts for the reported high standard of music.

The Laika Bar: Katerina this week : Captain Chaos Quartet did a freebie…

Yep, we did. Grumpy Boris was even grumpier than usual, although he did cheer up when we said we were having enough fun that we would play for drinks, and then cheered up even more when the bar filled up, and probably cheered up even more when we stopped and left. Cheerful fellow, Grumpy Boris.

This Friday night, Miss Katerina Myskova, with the Captain Chaos Quartet none of whom have learnt from the rigours of playing in 6 flats last time, and being prepared to do it again. Any more flats and we will need a planning permit.

Oh, yes, Katerina: trained at the Prague Academy or something, lots of experience in hotels, bars clubs and the like, a real musician, can really swing, slightly gorgeous and an entertainer to boot. You might consider dropping in for a sit by the log fire with a glass of something warming.

Katerina Myskova and the boys from 8.00pm Friday 14th August at The Laika Bar, 9 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda,

The Castlemaine Jazz Festival: Volunteers Review meeting

Doug, Brett, meself and the Captain arrived on time…

A lively round table discussion with the Castlemaine based volunteers and some good suggestions for next year. Apart from the Committee, there were 55 volunteers who were indispensable to the running of the Festival – including a large number of regular Jammers, to whom the rest of us are extremely grateful.

The Festival was seed funded by the Melbourne Jazz Jammers, and quite a few regulars got to play – and entertain a series of packed houses.

We will do it again, June 3rd to June 5th 2016. You have been warned.

Jam Session gets hot:

It was with some pleasure, and a wet winter wind whipping round my ears, that I stumbled upon Ye Traditional Jamme Session, already in full swing – not literally of course, because they were playing a 12/8 rock beat, in defiance of the laws of Mathematics, probably.

And quite a jumble of jazz musos there was: the usual culprits, a couple of in-patients on day release, some confused passers by and several people masquerading as musicians, and…

The Captain, Tony and Calamatta on sax, Chico on guitar, Kevin and then Rachel Camarino (check out her photo on Facebook) singing, The Debonair JC, John and Don on keys, Colonel T (retd) of the Fourth Light Punjab Cavalry on everything, Piers, Alex, and Glen on percussion – including the new snare drum, which made all their mistakes sound better. I can’t quite remember who played bass, other than Carlton, for whom too many notes is never enough – great to see him back. There were others, but I wasn’t paying attention. They were quite possibly brilliant.

Highlight of the afternoon was the rendition of The Flintstones Theme Tune (Captain Chaos called that one in a rare moment of sanity), whilst the audience engaged in dark gossip and toe tapping in the back bar.

One of the better jam sessions: it got hotter as the evening wore on. If you haven’t been for a while, drop in and blow the tits off ya fave toon.:

Enthusiasm essential, charts a bonus, performance anxiety optional, and competence to be well concealed as a kindness to others…