Sunday was a warm day, well fitted for convivial conversation and the occasional healing draught of social lubricant. Or it should have been, when Bob and I sauntered in to the Upper Mid Gold Street Gossip Shop, we were met with… almost nothing.

As in no soloists, no bass player, no charts and not much inspiration. A desultory start to a Jam Session, although when the Captain arrived, noise was soon the order of the day. He wasn’t really wearing a cheap suit, it just gave that appearance. Such is life for the extra 3B reserve saxophones in the Port Phillip Show Band, apparently.

A few phone calls rustled up the prerequisite bass player (Ivan the not Terrible at all) and in no time, or 45 minutes, take your pick, we had started to murder perfectly respectable jazz tunes by the dozen.

Props to Christine Manetta for insisting on singing Cry Me A River in the wrong key, cheerfully expecting the band to transpose without charts. It was a memorable mess, although she did manage to redeem herself by sing Route 66 in the right key, rather well.

Really, there should be more than one trainwreck for the afternoon, but you have to take what you can get.

By the time Ivan had reduced his fingers to a mangled mess, and the rest of us had sat back with the aforementioned soothing draught or three, it became apparent that most of the problems of the world could be solved quite simply, but, on sober reflection, none of us can quite remember how.

So, we will have to start all over again, next week.

Ya wouldn’t be dead fer quids

TW

Sunday Arvo Jam Session, The Leinster Arms, Gold Street, Collingwood every Sunday, 4.00 until the Captain falls over.