There was a Jam, wasn’t there?

Due to both the Captain and meself being otherwise engaged on Castlemaine Jazz Festival matters, I have relied on both Madge from Altona and the ethereal Miss Hortense for the following reports of proceedings…

Madge, as is not unusual, may have been soundly asleep in a corner of the back bar, having indulged in a light breakfast of three Winnie blues, some cold chips and a chipped mug full of ersatz instant coffee, before preparing herself for the afternoon with several cartons of Carlton daft and some cask port laced with brandy, which seemed like a good idea at the time, and probably still does..

Having thus attained a mood of somnolent imperturbability, she proceeded to snore somewhat rhythmically for the several hours of music to which she had subjected herself. The tempo, if not the volume, of the snoring was generally held to be a vast improvement on some of the more usual drummers.

Hortense, on the other hand, had a splendid afternoon of eightball in the front bar, followed by several hours spent picking up green baise cloth and sticking it back down with a glue stick, before attempting to light the gas log fire with the considerable amount of kindling she had generated. If anyone would like to purchase an empty cue rack, pop into the  Lunatic Soup Lounge next Sunday.

I am reliably informed by Glen (Il Duce to those in the know) that it was a quietly pleasant jam session, Gentleman John Curtis in the chair, so none of the above may be true. I can honestly say that I have never heard music played better, in the circumstances, and look forward to normal service being resumed next week.

And the Captain? You may well ask, but he has put his hand up to do the Castlemaine thing all over again, as have I, John Hannah, Doug Kuhn, Brett Willis, and five or six others from Castlemaine. Experience, they say, is recognising your mistakes when you make them again, so we can look forward to some real purlers come June 6th 2015….



Sunday Arvo Jam Session, The Leinster Arms, Gold Street, Collingwood every Sunday, 4.00 until the Captain falls over.

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