I was talking to Madge from Altona the other. day, windbreaks and shade structures being somewhat scarce in Refinery Terrace. She remarked upon the weather (getting worse), the price of beer (getting worse). the economy (getting worse), the availability of Winnie Blues (getting worse), and the shortage of merchant ships in Corio Bay. Apparently there is a consequent dearth of sun tanned drunken cashed up matelots wandering the windswept street of Altona West. Those that do are looking for a good time for a long time, and waiting for the shutters on the Altona West sub sub newsagents, hock shop and liquor store to come down (proprietor Phat Tow Nee).
They will be waiting a long time. The shutters went up in 1997, and Phat hasn’t been seen since, as Hortense ruefully observed only a week ago, although she could have been talking about someone else.
I would cease to digress, but what with almost no memory of last week’s jam session at the West Collingwood Sporting Men’s Club, have little inclination to do so. Apparently it went on quite late.
This Sunday the Leinster Arms is hosting a special Jam Session: a celebration of a completely ordinary Sunday, when there will be almost nothing else going on elsewhere. As a consequence, all the musicians who do turn up to the Jam will be eligible for a door prize. Quite what you are going to do with the door is a mystery to me, Who will win? Will Colonel T play Smoke on the Water, can the Captain count to four and not five? Will there be no drummers or five? Is there a verse to Autumn Leaves?
These are important questions, and we at Bendigo Towers, world headquarters of the Jazz Jammers Newletter, demand answers. Quite what they are, none of us can know, and most of us could not give a rats. All will be revealed at the Gold Street Gossip Shop, Lizard Lounge department.
And you will have to be there to find out.
Sunday Arvo Jam Session, The Leinster Arms, Gold Street, Collingwood every Sunday, 4.00 until the Captain falls over.