Rumour, Innuendo, Glen’s Fat Chips, Hortense’s New Year disappointment and what’s in store..

Another year of jam sessions done and dusted – and there is little truth to the rumour that Captain Chaos is now suffering from saxophone withdrawal symptoms. The never -ending flow of musical surprises ended with a Gala session at the Grand Hotel. Risa sang a fine set, omitting Sukiyaki for the first time in her life, and then a gathering of jammers who had performed there over the year (aka the usual suspects) got up and boogied into the night, in front of a mildly startled crowd of hotel guests, aunts, uncles, friends, four tooled up policemen, and an exhausted hotel crew whose only wish was to set up the breakfast tables and go home. Being a magnanimous lot we granted their wish, eventually.

I was talking to Marg from the Altona the other day. She was sucking on the dregs of a particularly long session at the Strangled Ferret at the time, and offered her opinion as to the jammers highlights of the year. She nominated Glen’s fat chips, but after these were ruled out as more of a lifestyle choice than a musical highlight, she declared that there were absolutely none, staggered out into the dusty sunlight of Altona Refinery Mews and has not been seen since. The front door on the Strangled Ferret will be rehung any day now… 

And what, you may ask, of Hortense? You probably wouldn’t, but I am going to tell you anyway. The poor dear had high hopes of a late December container ship arrival, but as the ship’s crew landed, they spotted Marg striding down the dock in a determined manner, turned tail and ran for their lives, having decided on the spot to apply for refugee status in Sri Lanka instead. Poor Hortense, her hopes of a New Years Eve to remember thus cruelly dashed, has retired to the country and taken up embroidery and cat breeding. It won’t last, it never does with Miss H…  

But I digress… Jam Sessions, that was it. It all starts again on Sunday 20nd January at Chateau Il Duce, Gold Street Collingwood, where, by all accounts (well, one actually) young Glen is tearing his hair out in anticipation of your return. 

What will 2013 bring? 

This could be the year that Captain Chaos says, enough, let’s stop and have a rest.. or Mr T actually sits out for a tune. Or we collectively forget to do Autumn Leaves, or Summertime, or both. Or someone asks Danilo to play a little louder. Or Gentleman John C plays a bum note. Or I don’t. Or someone reads a chart upside down, and it actually does make a difference. Or the Collingwood Male Voice Choir in the public bar ask for another few choruses of Caravan, on the grounds it helps them concentrate on the Eight Ball. For these, or any other eventualities, you will need to attend….  

Meanwhile, back at the posh end of Town, the Grand Hotel sessions re-start on January 18th, with Ruby Rogers singing up a storm, and the soothing dulcet tones of Miss Kay to follow on the Saturday night. Rather looking forward to it…  

Toodlepip! TW

One thought on “Rumour, Innuendo, Glen’s Fat Chips, Hortense’s New Year disappointment and what’s in store..

  1. Shakespeare woulda been proud of you Ted …… your majestic turn of phrase, your ever sharp wit…….. though mostly the ability to communicate succinctly the charm and decorum of the establishments we find ourselves frequenting… often…..and of those who sail in them…….

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