Jam Session No 1,034 goes according to plan

One can never be sure, when sauntering into the Gold Street Gossip Shop, watering hole to the gentry, quite what the plan will be. Will the jammers, in the spirit of inconsistency, play some jazz? Will Madge from Altona run amok, or sit out the back with a house port, a sailor, and a catering pack of Winnie blues? Will Hortense get lucky, always assuming she will be there, which she might be?

Last Sunday’s not so little jam session (it was crowded again), provided none of the answers, of course. It had promised to be a run of the mill affair, more bean bag than Chippendale, and in a sense, it lived down to its promise. The opening hour was a customary cacophony, with several competing concepts as to form, rhythm, and tonality from the haphazard assembly of what some might laughingly call musicians. Of which, I hasten to add, I was one.

Actually, there may have been some rat cunning at play, because once the dust had settled, things could only get better, and they did.

The stand-out of the arvo was probably Chitlins Con Carne which bubbled along and got some warm applause when, or possibly because, we stopped. Mercy Mercy Mercy ran it a close second, given the full staccato treatment by Col T of the Fourth Light Punjab Horse (retd) and featuring a gutsy sax solo from newcomer Jason.

First time drummer Michelle was thrown in at the deep end and survived the experience possibly because she is an accomplished drummer. A late dip by singer Dot, somewhat impromptu, went down well, and then a somewhat svelte The Divine Miss Smiff stepped off the boat and treated her adoring fan club to some traditional folksongs from Papua New Guinea or somewhere, only they were cunningly disguised as jazz standards.

The rest of you are well known to yourselves and need no further introduction. It was all noise and fun, and you should only feel slightly ashamed. Madge declared herself well satisfied with a Jam Session of no great distinction where everyone joined in, nothing got broken, and any threat of copyright dispute or royalties remained unlikely. Of course, she probably heard none of it, which would explain a lot.

Anyhoo, let’s do it again next week, always assuming you can get out of bed after a big afternoon of Grand Final fever…

Woof Woof!

POCKOTL dropped in long enough to collect some damning evidence and post it on Facebook. You have been warned.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/83551088146/

TW

The Castlemaine Jam Session: Free beer at bar prices!

It quite escapes me why we are promoting this – Ken Turnbull seemed keen, and why not are the main reasons that come to mind. The Castlemaine Jazz Jam, originally promoted by the Jammers to provoke interest in the Jazz Festival, is on its way to becoming a local institution in its own right.

You might like to consider a jolly up the Calder on October 2nd – the first Sunday of the month, and a quick polish of the chops with the local musos. Tends to get more of an audience than the Melbourne Jam, and plenty of playing time. You can always come back to the Lunatic Soup Lounge and Gossip shop the following week, and tell us all about it.

https://www.facebook.com/jazzforeveryone

gets you all the details.

A Touch of Class

If you haven’t checked out the new Dizzy’s yet, now is the time to get your party hats on and boogie on down. Getting good reports all round, and this upcoming gig is a beauty…

Anne Hayres 3

Anne Hayres Trio at Dizzys with Peter McCutcheon on Piano and Leon Heale String Bass Friday 30th September 9pm

Dizzys 368 Bridge Road Richmond 94295000. $20

Jam Session, cheap booze and Broken Promises

Last Sunday’s Jam was the third biggest turn out of musos we have ever had. Props to Rod and Bette back on a brief trip from some sweaty dive north of Borneo) for dragging so many through the door, and sorry you had to shout all afternoon to maintain the constant banter to which you are accustomed.

So, about those loud saxaphones and rattly ol’ drummers. No point in telling either to turn it down, as they are all industrially deaf. Can’t imagine why… Continue reading

A Busy Day at the Ol’ Leinster Basement De Blues

Quite what has happened to the Jams of late is likely to remain a mystery. Suffice it to say that, after a few weeks struggling out of the doldrums of mediocrity, last Sunday’s session was positively frenetic, with previously unheard of things going on, like really good pianists turning up, and the entire ensemble making noises that even the cognoscenti would begrudgingly recognise as somewhat jazz… Continue reading

JAZZ GENRES EXPLAINED

It is high time someone explained the different genres in Jazz. Meanwhile…

THE BLUES  Probably the most basic influence on jazz, comprised of no more than three chords and the perfidy of women. All of it sung with a fake sincerity, often in a fake American accent to make it sound authentic. Apparently.

JAZZ STANDARDS The term is an ironic one, describing the constitutional inability of your average muso to play the same thing twice. There are actually few standards amongst Jazz Musicians, and all of them are low.

Jazz standards use four or even five chords, and were written some time between 1933 and1948, a time when most sensible people would be staying home to watch the advertisements on pay TV. The genre is defined by the use of walking tenths in the bass line, or staggering quarters if the bottleshop will still give you credit; and by the soloist swinging – preferably from a rope attached to the rafters, but I digress.

BEBOP  Another ironic term, describing the constitutional inability of your average bebop muso to play the same thing once. If you slow it down and play Bebop backwards, it doesn’t sound any worse. Spooky, or what!

POST BEBOP  This genre cannot be called ironic at all, as most adherents struggle with words of more than one syllable. It does not refer to jazz music that has been learnt by mail order. No one has ever listened to the end of a post bebop composition – because it doesn’t have one, it just fades away when the jazz club goes broke.

FREE JAZZ  Jazz that is so dissonant and repetitive that no one will pay for it. The entire enrolment of University Jazz Courses is said to be working on extending this to the point where people will pay for it (on condition that it stops immediately.) If successful, they will be able to go and get a job teaching trombone in a High School one year earlier than the previous intake (see note below). Progress is a wondrous thing.

SHOWTUNES  Ah, the most sublime music of all – saccharine romantic ballads. Showtunes have a timeless quality, at least when played by the Jammers, and we only pick them to see if we can get Colonel T off the stage.

Footnote: The enrolment at a University is called an intake. Each year around Melbourne about 100 Students are taken in by Jazz courses. Only to discover that there are no jobs at the end of it, other than teaching trombone in a High School. Far better to have studied Accounting or Quantity Surveying. There are no jobs in those disciplines either, but at least the pay is better.

Wanted: vocalists and instrumentalists

Book a solo or duo spot backed by the house band of the Melbourne Music Performers at the next event. Vocal or instrumental, you choose the songs. If you need help finding charts, choosing keys or performing, we’ll help you.

Our next event is on Friday 2 September at Eira Café Lounge Bar, 1 Pryor St, Eltham.

Don’t leave it too long to request a spot or you might miss out!

Contact Kevin or Ann through the messaging system at:

http://www.meetup.com/Melbourne-Music-Performers/

Carruthers plays up…

“I don’t like it, Carruthers, its, its just too damned quiet….”

Carruthers has, apparently fixed that, and now the jams are almost too damned noisy instead. Last week saw a mixed bag of trophies pinned to the ancestral walls of the mouldering pile, and we will skip, figuratively, over the opening salvo – a piping hot set with Sam Izzo at the keys – and get to the guts of the matter, which was the sight of Il Duce twinkle toeing across the dance floor to tell the five, read it and weep, five saxaphones to shut the f*** up. Messrs Chaos, Cardinal Calamatta, Alan West, Tony and Laurie Savage were the guilty parties.

dsc_0018-04se16

A piping hot set: Haircut, Savage, De Wang and Izzo – who departed after this, leaving the others to go downhill all afternoon Continue reading

A Monday Night Jam Session – from Marek

A little note from the wonderful Marek Podstawek. I have given it a light edit, but this should really be read with a Polish accent. A Monday night Jam in Northcote sounds spiffin’, and if Marek recommends it, that is good enough for me

TW

Hi guys

Please  please put to your list very very good professional jam session at the 303  in Northcote every first  and third Monday of the month, 7.30 start.

Please let all musicians and jazz musician about this great jam which is run by very good young musicians ex students from VCA  , Melbourne University and Monash University.

Standards is very high and very good but every kind of musician welcome even beginners no problem. These are a good people and good human with a passion of music that is why I recommended   –   again 303  Northcote    303 High st   every first and third Monday of the month  start 7 30

Marek

It is at

303 High Street, Northcote, Victoria, 3070

Phone: 03 9482 4577
General enquiries: info@303.net.au

 

Swing Like the Clappers – September 24th

Hello friends of Stan’s Music

Only one gig in September for me! It will be at Farouk’s Olive at 711 High Street, Thornbury on Saturday September 24th from 5pm to 7pm. The band “Breakout” will have a guest drummer, so we should swing like the clappers, as the saying goes. And the bar serves nice drinks as well. So come along for a jazzy evening with our quartet.

Stan

So Who Goes to Jam Sessions these days?

One sometimes wonders. I wandered somewhat thirsty into the mouldering pile about ten minutes late last Sunday. Numbers have been down of late, but they are slowly climbing yet again, and any day now the self appointed elites will descend in numbers upon us, demand excessive playing time and generally make the rest of us look average. To which we have always aspired… Continue reading