Sunday Arvo: Kylie Minogue a no-show

Ho, hum, and rattle. A strange Jam session this one – a good rhythm section ably driven by Doug ”Haircut” Kuhn, a coupla good singers: The Debster, Anne Hayres, Eithne (see below) and The Divine Miss Smith, looking as Smith as ever, but quite divine as well for the time of day; POCKOTL in the house, and Noel, the Captain, Peter Cole and Keef on saxes, Colonel T of the Fourth Light Punjab Horse on guitar, Chico in fine form, as inscrutable as ever, Lisette amazing on keys, Bruce and Christine doing their thing later in the day…

And yet, it never really hit the heights. Avid readers of this august journal will have discerned by now that the drummers have not been mentioned. They were, in the main, a noisy lot for much of the afternoon, so whether any jazz got played is highly debatable. We could all see fingers twitching on the rattly saxy bits, strings plinking away on the basso profundo de stick and geetars, lights glowing on the piano, andtonsils quivering; but quite what was being played, other than drums, remains in large part a mystery. Volume is a poor substitute for musicianship, but you have to run with what you’ve got.

Fun, nevertheless.

See ya this week?

Colonel T of the Fourth Light Punjab Horse rides again.

CD sales for  my  two  new CD.s are not exceeding  expectations  . In
fact , Only  my  cat and my  cousin   have shown   much interest  so

If anyone wants  a copy  just  contact  me  and  I will send  a  mail
order  copy  to you. If  anybody  wants to  form  a  jazz  based  band
with  me   to play  5  originals and  5  standards  , in  doing  so
promoting  my   jazz  CD  then  please get  in touch  with  me  too.

The Lunatic Soup Lounge: Report from the Captain

23 musicians attended the Leinster on Sunday. Music started with Sam Izzo on keys, Doug on bass, Glen on drums and a lone saxophonist. Lee arrived soon after from Bendigo with his smooth sounding trumpet,with Noel on flute and tenor and Taariq and young Matt on guitar. Michael took over on drums and in walked Elliot with his new trombone, Mihoko with a borrowed double bass and Anthony with his guitar to add to the cacophony.

Sam was replaced by John Curtis, then Bob, then Richard on Keys. Vocals were supplied by Kevin, Debbie, Anne and John. Later arrivals were Chico (guitar) Carson (bass) and Conrad (bass). Last to come through the door was John Calamatta to add some class to the front line.


Castlemaine Jazz Festival Update

The Castlemaine Jazz Festival June 5th – June 7th 2015

Spoke to someone from NSW this week. They were having difficulty booking accommodation in Castlemaine from the 5th June to 7th June. Already. Good Grief!

The Captain and the Haircut amused themselves at the Grampians Jazz Festival by handing out registration forms for bands, and the applications continue to roll in. Headaches for Hannah the Venues Maestro – we are talking about putting on extra venues…

For the latest goss…

Aah, Time for the B Team…and the Jam session gets slightly bent, but not broken

The Ludicrous Arms Hotel, watering hole of the Colliwobble cognoscenti, was in somnolent mood when I got there… Il Duce setting up the drums, Herr Matthews sucking on a reed, John the Voice at the bar, and not a lot going on. Ah, well, wonder how the Halls Gap mob are coping with the heat.

So… might as well get started – a lively jaunt through I Remember Clifford, Noel on sax and Glen at the drums, in walks Taariq, Andy Moon, Lee the Trumpet, John Calamatta on sax, Kevin on tonsils, and away we went, with John in fine voice and a tyro on Killing Me Softly.

By the time we had started indulging Colonel T with some bebop, a fine afternoon had evolved. Well You Needn’t and Cantaloupe Island kept the lads amused.

And by the time Kevin and Andy Moon started Route 66 as a v and b duo, things were really looking good. Quite a revelation to hear restraint at a Jam – all class for sure, and even the saxaphones managed not to join in.

And then, too soon perhaps, it was time to pack up and leave. Which leaves us with time to do it all again next week. There will be Chaos…

The Sunday Arvo Jam Session

It was just one of those days, really … rolled up well early for once, to be rewarded with the opportunity of plugging in the piano fiddly wirey bits, before retiring to the bar for a refreshing draught, which a fellow needs as he sits back to watch the Captain pull out all the wirey fiddly bits and put them back in their proper holes..

Further amusement was on hand with the total lack of a bass player requiring the pianists (meself and Sam Izzo at that stage) to play bass lines. Luckily, this can be done with the left hand alone, which means we still had the right hand available for interfering with the melodic line…

Which included Ben the banker on his electrified guitar, Ray the original lounge lizard Hood in fine form, and later on, the Captain, the Keef and a few others too humerous to mention. I seem to remember someone playing a green plastic trombone. Young John, who combines a remarkable voice with almost zero knowledge of songs, tried out Summertime, the A Train and a coupla others, before The Debster sailed through songs old and new, Bob played some nice half stride, and a good time was had by all.

By the time I left, the Divine Miss Smith, having shown as delicate a touch as any on the drums, had resorted to singing – not that she needed the practice. I assume the jam descended into its usual shambles, but wouldn’t really know as I had a tram to catch…

Actually enjoyed this one. – but there is nothing new in that.

An Extraordinary Jam Session – or much the same as usual?

Madge, scourge of Altona West and substitute Lollipop Lady when it suits her, is, as the several readers of this august organ would know, quite the philosopher: and can turn quite reflective after polishing off seven snags, two matelots and a packet of Winnie Blues for breakfast. This habitual start to her day, generally partaken around 4 pm, leaves her in a reflective mood until such time as the sun sets and the roads around Refinery Terrace grow strangely quiet.

It was in such a mood that she remarked only the other day how a Jam Session can, on occasion, reach extraordinary heights of musicality and creativity: taking jazz to another level. She may have been quoting Nietszhe again, but it could have been a head cold.

Extraordinary? The Sunday Arvo Jam could not have been so described: when the usual suspects turned up, tuned up and took to mangling innocent toons with a languid degree of gusto. It went on for, as Hortense might have said had she been there, hours. No heights were scaled.

The guilty parties included The Captain, meself, a tireless Colonel T, Hirsh, Constable, Peter on trumpet, Noel on sax, Marion on recorder (good to see ya!) Ben the Banker, Monsieur Sebastian, Ali, the Debster, Kay De Darwin, Mrs Constable, and quite possibly Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all. Punishments will be awarded later.

Extraordinary? Probably not, but sometimes it is good to celebrate the ordinary, quaff some social lubricant and just have a good time. So we did. And at the end of it, all the bits got put back in the box and nobody left with a burning desire to get to Monday early, so I daresay we will do it again.


No News is Good News? The Jam Sessions start this Sunday

Avid readers of the Jammers News will have noticed that there has been no news since the 16th December. Avid readers of the Saturday Age will have noticed something similar, but for $3.50 more…

So… it is back to the Leinster Arms, favoured watering hole of the Colliwobble cognoscenti, this Sunday 19th January, for the first Jam Session of 2015. The punters (Front Bar Eight Ball Division) will no doubt be aghast, birds will fall, lifeless but relieved, from the tree out the front, the windows, cheap stained glass renditions of Irish motifs though they be, will rattle and roll, Hortense may be hovering in the background, dreaming of years gone by and opportunities missed, and, if Madge has her way, which she often does, this will be the longest sentence of the year, unless Rotten Ronnie Junior joins forces with the Datsun 120B Boys of Moonee Ponds once more for a night of debauchery followed by a deep and meaningful conversation with a tone deaf Magistrate in the Bairnsdale Working Mens Club and Combination Sessional Assizes.

Which, by the way, was the scene of Madge’s last performance, before the stage collapsed.

Or you could just turn up and blow the tits off your favourite toon.

Captain Chaos has promised to appear. Jazz may be played, but only as an aberration.

4.00pm start.

Captain Chaos Fridays at the Laika Bar: The Divine Miss Smith… it had to happen

The Divine Miss Smith

The Divine Miss Smith

Yup, the last CCQ event of the year will feature the Divine Miss Smith, and about time too!

After last Friday’s busy little sesh with the immaculate Mme Sonia Davoine, things are going to turn decidedly quirky: always assuming the Divine Miss Smith doesn’t lose her car keys, turns up only marginally late, and hits a few of those numbers we love.. ably supported by the Captain (sax), meself (piano) and Doug “haircut” Kuhn, with Peter Cole as special guest on sax.

The Laika Bar is turning out to be a bit of a gem – there is a constantly passing parade of Fitzroy Street fashionista, gangsters, wannabes, confused tourists, poseurs and maybe even your good self. Drop in for a wine or even a fabulously expensive cocktail – and say g’day to the Diva

The Divine Miss Smith, Laika Bar, 6 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda, from 7.32pm, Friday 19th December.

The Last Jam Session of the year: Pre Christmas bash at the Lunatic Soup Lounge

The Annual Jammers pre Christmas bash kicks off in the Gold Street Gossip Shop Atrium at 1.00pm this Sunday December 14th for those jammers desirous of a light luncheon, with what we laughably refer to as music starting shortly thereafter. Piss elegance may not be the order of the day, but you should at least start with good intentions.

You may expect an afternoon of ballad bashing, bossa bungling, standards mangling, interspersed with malicious gossip, slander, outrageous lies and innuendo. There will be a separate room for innuendo. It is not beyond the bounds of possibility that a little jazz will be thrown into the mix. In this case, try and keep a straight face, and do not call the Fire Brigade, as it will generally self extinguish in no time at all.

You are encouraged to bring wives, husbands, partners, children and grandparents, but they are not to be eaten before 4.00pm. The whole shebang is expected to descend into a shambles some time after 6.00pm, so there will be plenty of time for those wishing to play.

Feel free to enjoy yourselves, but preferably in private.

Enthusiasm essential, charts a bonus, performance anxiety optional and competence to be well concealed as a kindness to others.

The last Jam of the year – see ya there?

The Lunatic Soup Lounge last Sunday: sweet!

Sunday arvo at the Leinster can be a hit or miss affair. After last week’s shenanigans, one could hardly have thought this would turn out to be much at all. And for starters, it wasn’t… but as it turns out, this was about as enjoyable an afternoon as I can remember – the regular crew, ably lead by Captain Chaos himself, all got up and boogied, or sat back and gossiped over the occasional cooling draught, as they are wont to do.

Doug Kuhn, Colonel T of the Fourth Light Punjab Horse, Noel the Sax, Ben Stewart, Is Don Is Good, Monsieur Sebastien, Peter Cole, Kevin the Krooner, Glen (Il Duce to those in the Know), Bob the Piano, Curtis at his debonair  best, the Divine Miss Smith, Ivan Five String Bass, Jason The Hat, trumpets, chord wranglers,  drinkers, gossipers, the lightly medicated and confused… all conspired to produce an afternoon of aural delights that occasionally veered into the dangerous waters of real jazz, but in a good way.

Possible highlights of the afternoon were the Tyro piano player launching into a tune he didn’t know and making a pretty fair fist of it; and that rarest of occasions,  the Captain forgetting to call fours, although the pick of the bunch, for me, was Jason on sax, making the rest of us sound better than we really are. Any time, feel free…

Ya wouldn’t be dead fer quids…



The Leinster Bar… well, we stuffed that up didn’t we?

After last week’s gallimaufrey of bass players, this week it was the piano players turn:

Ade Ish, Larry from Townsville, Rory Clark, Sam Izzo, Gentleman John Curtis (welcome back, were ya been!), the Venerable Bob and meself all got a short turn eventually. The Ageing Roue played an inordinate amount of might fine sax, and the Captain played a subordinate amount of mighty fine sax, as did Noel. Ben and Chic provided some neat guitar work, hardly anyone sang (well, Kevin smoothed things out for a while), young tyros Tom and Mike played drums and trombone,  Doug Haircut Kuhn nearly got trampled in the rush, Sebastien rattled between good and not so, and Colonel T of the Fourth Light Punjab Horse  provided a relieving role on bass.

So, why did we stuff it up? Such was the seemingly endless procession of hot jazz that a few of the less experienced jammers missed out or left early – with that much talent in the room, getting up to play after them would be an unnerving experience.

The essence of the jams is to get everyone involved as much as possible, even if this does mean that the standard of music becomes a bit, err, variable. So if you missed out, please come back and if Coltrane walks in and takes over, we will toss him out in your favour, on the grounds that (a) he needs to join in not take over, (b) he probably won’t come back next week as he is too busy reissuing dodgy compilation CD’s,  (c) he is dead and (d) we would rather you played anyway. Or any way, as long as it is fun.

Or not as the case may be…

Props to Peter Cole for getting this, waiting for his opportunity,  and blowing up a storm, to Sam Izzo who got the briefest of sessions and still got drowned out by the soloists,  and most particularly to Colonel T for his patience before finally getting up on bass and swinging. Unheard of, call a doctor. Or a vet. Or a mechanic. I give up, what does he run on?

We will try to do better next time –